The Easy Stuff of Marriage

Ephesians 5:21-33
The issue for Paul in marriage is not who’s smarter, stronger, or more important; for him, as well as for the other biblical writers, the question is one of God-ordained order. Voddie Baucham Jr. Family Shepherds, p. 101

Objections to Male Headship – inside the church:

1. ___________________

2. It’s a result of the _________________
The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.  And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.” The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.  So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. Genesis 2:15-20

3. Not headship but ___________________________
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (5:21)

Objections to Male Headship – outside the church:
Sisters, I don’t know who you are, or how many, but I will tell you what happened to us. We were brave and we were fools; some of us collaborated; I don’t know the outcome. It is late 1986 now, and we are losing. The war is men against women; the country is the United States. Andrea Dworkin, Letters from a War Zone

1. _____________________
We can’t destroy the inequities between men and women until we destroy marriage. Robin Morgan, Sisterhood is Powerful

The nuclear family must be destroyed, and people must find better ways of living together…No woman should have to deny herself any opportunities because of her special responsibilities to her children…Linda Gordon, Functions of the Family
Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” Genesis 1:26

In the partnership of two spiritually equal human beings…the man bears the primary responsibility to lead the partnership in a God-glorifying direction. Ray Ortlund in Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. John 1:1
But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
1 Corinthians 11:3

2. _____________________
Headship “requires violence in the same way that human beings require oxygen” Suzette Elgin

Under patriarchy, no woman is safe to live her life, or to love, or to mother children. Under patriarchy, every woman is a victim, past, present, and future. Under patriarchy, every woman’s daughter is a victim, past, present, and future. Under patriarchy, every woman’s son is her potential betrayer and also the inevitable rapist or exploiter of another woman. Andrea Dworkin

The antithesis to male headship is male domination. Ray Ortlund

What does biblical headship and marriage look like?
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (5:21)

Mutual submission is about caring for the other person in the relationship with Christ’s love and at their place of greatest need.

The call for wives –
Your husband’s greatest need is __________________ (v. 33)
Then they [older women] can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Titus 2:4-5

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life…Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:10-12; 30

The call for husbands –
Your wife’s greatest need is _____________________ (v. 33)
After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” (5:29-31)

Love your wife ______________________

Lead your home _______________________
Lead Me by Sanctus Real
I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames, I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling, but on the inside, Oh, I can hear her saying

Lead me with strong hands, Stand up when I can’t
Don’t leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?
Show me you’re willing to fight, That I’m still the love of your life
I know we call this our home, But I still feel alone

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They’re just children from the outside
I’m working hard, I tell myself they’ll be fine
They’re independent, but on the inside
Oh, I can hear them saying (chorus)

So Father, give me the strength,
To be everything I’m called to be
Oh Father, show me the way,
To lead them, Won’t You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands, To stand up when they can’t
Don’t want to leave them hungry for love
Chasing things that I could give up
I’ll show them I’m willing to fight
And give them the best of my life, So we can call this our home
Lead me ’cause I can’t do this alone
Father, lead me ’cause I can’t do this alone